


'Cos my love's not a limit

by Azbiel



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, ftm Rachel Berry - Freeform, ray berry is a trans guy, transgender talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 11:51:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11920320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azbiel/pseuds/Azbiel
Summary: They say write about what you know about and this kept hitting me on the head so I figure i minus will get it out. See if anyone else enjoys it. AU of transmale ray berry transition is more than skin deep.





	1. Chapter 1

Day 1, Month 1 

 

"Treasure trail." 

The words ran through his memory and it was clearly heard by his ears as if the sentence was forever on repeat. Yet his smallish hands that were smooth and made him anxious, self conscious and trembling. when his eyes met the image in the mirror the girl though beautiful betrayed his soul. 

"Ru Pual." 

The snip he heard was satisfying to his ears and soon he had cut the long locks that lay splattered all over the floor like living moss, reminding him as his past, as he looked up there was a little too much left but afraid to butcher it without an expert stylist, stopped him from cutting the rest. Yet his new look even though it felt a bit off his locks overshadowing his eyebrows giving a not appreciated emo look but maybe with some gel he could make it work and hide the uneven layers a bit. 

"Man Hands" 

He took a deep breath his shoulder free and loose against the air felt right, if he were to look down it would ruin the fantasy. He took a deep breath raising the thick white layer of the shirt hiding the stretchable nylon and spandex that would constrict and hide his breasts, with a sigh he sat to start getting it on. Which over all turned out to be a lot more complicated than it seemed it involved some hopping and grunts as he pushed the binder down. But once it ruffled his hair as it slipped past his face and the top of it met his khakis he held his breath and looked into the mirror, the first real breath of relief maybe in his whole life was taken. The lumps barely visible since gratefully he was smaller, yet as he adjusted them to an untrained eye his chest looked muscular and as he grabbed his yellow polo and put it on feeling the warmth of it adjust to his body in a lovely way. He sighed with contentment and when he looked up this to the mirror Ray Berry saw more than a talented voice but he saw a glimpse of his true self.  
Every insult seemed gone for a brief moment as he felt content to associate once more with his body. To be able to make his illusions more of his reality and his heart wanted to burst with pride and his soul seemed to rest easier. Yet the moment passed and the panic started setting in today they would see him for the first time and he probably be tossed out even from glee. Yet even if he had to do this alone he would. He gave thanks to the almighty that both his dads being a part of the lgbtqa community had been supportive from the moment he spilled it all in a sobbing mess broken and yet all they did was held him and accept him. He was lucky he knew and yet soon he had to tell Finn who till now had been happily blinded and way too content to be receiving attention from ray when he fit into his ideal talented pretty girl with superior voice and talent and yet he knew he would lose him and it broke his heart that the small chance she had was most likely shattered. His feelings would not disappear but he wouldn’t chase something he could never have, his decision to be true to himself was what pushed him into the threshold. As for Quinn he was sure she would have a field day probably obliterate him and the number of slushies' he would have to face made it hard to even commit to even wear the binder and yet the alternative was too hard to bear any longer. He would pack a week worth of binders if he had to, he would not be reduced to hiding any longer. Yet once he looked into the mirror he smiled tussled his hair and prepared for the ride to the first day of school the packer in his pants matching his rhythm and giving a boost of confidence that he could hardly explain.  
*******  
"have you seen Berry, what a joke!" Santana giggle as she twirled her hair, the mean girl inside shining through and Quinn fought to hide frown and harder to fight her anger towards her co-captain. 

"What's going with the troll now?" She turned smirked the guilt that always seeped into her heart at the hypocrisy flying out of her mouth as she pretty much worshipped Rachel in her own head. Yet all she could ever do is keep trying to keep Finn away by making the girl miserable and yet every time she pictured Finn anywhere near Rachel the blind jealousy was uncontrollable. 

"You are going to love this! You were right on the bull's eye Fabray." Santa laughed her red uniform fitting for her malicious whims. "The shehe finally admitted to being a tranny freak. Wants people to start calling her Ray." Brought up a large star shaped poster that Quinn had seen posted around school but hadn't bother to stop and read for fear of giving herself away. She took the star in her hand reading the words closely and rereading them again to see if they sunk in. It read … 

"You're talented Glee Club Captain will be undergoing a transition to make his body align with how he sees himself he no longer shall be called by female pronouns and my legal name is Ray Berry. This however will not affect my performance in glee as I fully intend to still take us to the finals!" Quinn breathed it took a bit to sink in and maybe this was some sort of blessing in disguise she had loved and been tempted by Rachel way too many times the idea that the small brunet would be wearing boy's clothes and looked male would surely destroy any feelings that she would have had for brunet and she smiled because she might have found her out. 

"I have to see this." Quinn looked up at Santana eyes full of determination Santana only chuckled. 

"Your telling me Fabray. I already sent Brittney on a slushies purchase." Santana the ever proactive maliciously smirked. 

"Hold off till, I tell you." Quinn said hoping that once the spell is broken she be able to let go of all the guilt that prevented her from truly disliking the brunet. " I have to find them first." 

"I just saw berry go into the nurse's restroom you might be in luck." Santana pointed south towards the nurses' office as Quinn nodded and quickly walked away. 

"Berry." Quinn voice filtered to the other side of the gender natural bathroom. 

"I refuse to come out considering the fact that I will most likely end up covered in slushies and I just happen to tame my matted hair." He said but the voice on the other end was the same one Quinn knew by heart and it pulled at her strings, though high pitched and sounding fragile it was full of raw talent and a unstoppable force that Quinn had encountered personally. 

"Look Berry it's just me. I just want to know if it's true about you being a boy now??" Quinn placed her hand against the wall and let out a sigh. " I promise I won't slushy you and no one will come in here and slushy you either." Quinn tried once more her skirt pulled against her thigh as she played with the hem nervously. 

"It's not now, I am not just suddenly in a boy. I always was ever since I can remember I fought so hard to repress this feeling tried to fit what Hollywood and my peer and even my own parents expected of me. One can only push a lie so far and this was my breaking point. I have always been Ray Berry. Very obviously intellectually higher than any other male here and definitely way better hygiene." The ramble from the other became more frazzled as it went. 

"Well, did you do all this to hide in the bathroom Berry." Quinn looked at the door as if she could melt it with her focus the silence was long. "You want people to meet the real you than you better start to own it." She heard the sigh first and then the click her shoulders fell in relief.  
First thing she was met with was the intense brown eyes that she knew so well they were the same yet something was different something went deeper, he was wearing a hideous yellow polo covered by a sleeveless cardigan that covered in small pine trees. Even as a boy his style was annoyingly adorable his vans a simple grey and yet his face still feminine and to most people it look like a very butch girl or a boy entering his teen years, he looks so young it was strange to Quinn. Yet her eyes roamed him and went to his hands still small and it was ironic that she had called them men hands and now surprisingly she wants to hold them. His brown hair matted in a unprofessional bowl haircut that looked dorky and yet it endeared Quinn. He was different not only in appearance that had gone from a extreme to another but in his essence that seemed stronger and that refuse to be embarrassed at simply telling their truth, as her eyes made her way up to his brown orbs she knew it had been a fetal mistake to come here because her way out had turned into a trap door she clearly had stepped on, that her attraction for the brunet had not only not been subdue by the brunet masculine appearance but that she wants to hold his hand through this. He looks vulnerable and stubborn and weather they went by Rachel or Ray Quinn soul belong to this talented human and she realized that she was in deeper than she ever thought. 

"Giovani Risso, he my father personal groomer he should be able to help with the butchered hair cut." She said with a smirk as he scuffed but she could see the curiosity in his  
gaze. I'll have him pay you a visit this evening." She stood above him as he narrowed his eyes.  
"What your end game Fabray?" He said his eyes intent on her she felt as if she was being seen through but she stood her ground. 

"It's my favor to the entire school, also if you want to compete with the leading boys you have to start with appearance." Quinn full intention did not have to be disclosed quite yet. 

"I still don't understand why you would help me." His soft eyes now clearly confused and he ran a heavy hand through his chocolate brown locks that Quinn wanted to grip and not necessarily in anger. He was small, compact, cute. The idea that she could still undoubtedly say that her attraction to ray Barry was transcendent of not only social hierarchy but gender and genitals and the fact that the comfort she saw in his eyes settled her down and made her feel at home with him in his body. It suited him his eyes against her 

"because I happen to want to win sectionals as well and having you looking like a Beatle won't do us any favors." Quinn lied but she knew Ray could see through it, she trusted him to let it go she knew it was too soon to dive into anything even more ground breaking than Rachel Berry starting to transition into a full blown male and even worse Quinn still had feelings for him and the confusion about her sexuality somehow became even more complicated. She wasn't sure where she fit in but this couldn't be any more normal than her having a crush on ray when he presented as female. 

"Either way, I want to thank you Quinn it's nice to know that there someone in this school who at the very least sees my potential. He said adorably sticking his hand in his pocket his chest appearing flat and it drew Quinns eyes in. 

"I see it Ray Berry but don't go thinking this makes us friends just because you're no longer straight as day doesn't mean you deserve a sit on the short bus." The insult hid her true intention and old habits seemed to be kicking in already.  
"Rachel..." A familiar voice interrupted them as they both turn to meet the tall jock he looked at ray with wide as if seeing something unreal. 

"Finn, I would like to ask you to refrain from calling me by a name I never really associated much with I understand this is a big change and it will take time and I am sure you feel a bit awkward about our past. Yet I want you to know I would never peruse as of now you as I know your orientation is not gay and would not like to push or make you uncomfortable." Ray rambled fast and Quinn could see the emotion clear as day going through Finn first confusion and then a serene look a smile as if acceptance and soon he was leaning in and hugging the small male wrapping him close to his body. 

"I just want you to be happy Ray." He said with a smile and pulled back from a clearly shocked ray as Quinn jealousy rose through her she realized that any support ray could get would be for the better but still unsettled she went towards the smaller male and soon had her own arms around him this was bigger than all three of them. Quinn felt it and just enjoyed the feeling of brunet arm wrapping around her waist. 

"You aren't alone in this." She whispered against his ear and felt a nod against his shoulder and maybe a hot tear or two against her shoulder. 

"Thank you." Ray uttered as they both let go and soon the three of them would be making their way outside where the school waited like hungry hyenas to prey. The idea made her skin craw and she knew that she could no longer deny her attraction to the smaller of the males and even as she saw Ray wide eyes that shone at Finn as if he was the sun, Quinn would now consciously admit that ray berry heart was her most coveted prize.


	2. I'll Be Alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting, i been struggling with that good old depression, but i am hoping i can write more get all the feels out. 
> 
>  
> 
> hope all is well.  
> here is my tumblr if you guys ever want to encourage me little  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/azbiel

Chapter 2  
It had been a week since Ray Berry had announced his presence in his life, and as strange as it was that they had kissed and that he himself had been clearly attracted to Rachel, and yet that idea of Rachel had been truly shattered by none other than Ray Berry who had seem to be resting just under the surface.  
There had been small clue's here in there, he is sure of it.  
How Ray always wanted to lead no matter who his dance partner was. Or that Once a month for a week the depression and desperation in his seemed to worsen. It had scared Finn at first the look he used to get like all hope was lost and his pain was eternal. He always just assumed it was the school bullying making Rachel life so miserable yet it was his own body that betrayed him on a daily basis. Yet even though the pronouns were getting easier and the name was sticking, he still looked like a version of his old self, so much so that his body reacted on it's own to the boy and if he were honest with himself it freaked him the hell out. Yet any time he saw the boy his bubbly smile and smallish figure seemed to call to Finn like a siren that was clearly calling Finn to unknown and tremulous waters. Yet all this might change soon he had heard from Kurt that Friday Ray would visit the doctor to receive his first dose of testosterone. In a week his body would begin the change and the idea seemed too much for Finn to really focus on too long without getting a massive headache. He Just wanted the confusion to stop as he tried hard to think of Quinn Fabray in something skimpy. At least he still had Quinn good old girly,hetro,cheerleader Quinn Fabray was his incredibly hot girlfriend. He smiled content to hold on to some small version of normalcy that he could. As he heard the bell ring snapping him out of his thoughts and into Mr. Shuster babbling something in Spanish that he thinks might be about homework. He shrugged and picked up his backpack to walk into the hallway 

"FInn we need to talk?" Quinn voice rang in her own ears as she approached the boy, she wasn’t exactly nervous about this yet there was a edge in her own voice she could not keep out.  
The boy had just settled for opening his locker looking lost in his own head. 

"We are breaking up, starting now." Quinn blurted out with as much authority as she could muster. The boy looked flabbergasted he finally manage to pull out his books. 

"Okay." His mouth moved in a slow movement that seemed to take way to long. Yet he nodded as Quinn ponytail swung in his face and he said goodbye to the rich coconut lavender mix of her shampoo that he had always been fond of. 

"what about ray?" He blurted out she was already turning the corner in her powerful strut of dominance. 

"What about me?" Ray light voice made it to his ears, as he turned around to look at ray and his perfectly tussled short oak hair shorter and softer it called to Quinn. 

"What about you leading a song to celebrate Friday." Finn was proud of himself he manage to think up quick lies before but usually not this socially. As Ray face brighten at the idea, loosely running a hand through his soft locks. Quinn's fancy groomer guy did a pretty good job he thought distractingly. 

"It is a worthy mile stone I suppose." He pulled his blazer tightly against him and with a affirming adorable nod stated. "I'll do it, I must come up with the perfect song for this momentous occasion. " He smiled a bright genuine smile that touched Quinn's heart and he remembered how confused ray berry made him. Than like a bolt of terrible lightning Finn was frozen in horror the words warning never made past hi mouth, the blast ice-cold blue Slurpee hit ray face and shirt wetting it and exposing him. 

"Trying to hide something, Berry." It was one of the younger cheerios she had a malicious twinkle in her eye. The blazer had taken most of it but his white shirt was strain through and there was no hiding the truth. Ray Face reddened with shamed as he fought noticeably against the tears. It sprang Finn to life. 

"Get out of here harmony." He positioned himself between the two as he stared into her hoping to insight in her the terrible mistake she just made. Her eyes seemed confused they widened with realization as she turned quickly and practically ran away. 

"I need to get to my locker." A small voice made his way into his ear startling him awake. As he turned to meet a sadden ray who covered his body in shame looking away from his eyes. 

"Ok." He took him by his small shoulders as the campus quieted and looked at them the walk was short but it seemed forever as he did his best to cover ray. The boy soon was pulling another binder but looking dismayed. "What's wrong??" Finn asked softly.  
"I don't have any other shirts...I have a white binder and nothing." He looked into the locker as if maybe it was just hidden somewhere and he could look hard enough for a matching shirt. 

"Wear my sweater." He said as he pulled it off his body bringing his shirt with it but yet only the sweatshirt came off and ray had looked at him like a god. He seen that look in his eyes but now things where different and there was no diva perfect star girl who held soo much potential to Finn. 

"Thanks. I'll be sure to return it freshly washed." As he took the large red sweater in his hands as they slowly began the decent into the nurses bathroom. 

When ray stepped out of the wooden door his hair in curls along his forehead slightly messy wet look. His cheek still flush from the cold but he looked fresh and flat even thou he was practically swimming in the sweatshirt. 

"you look good." Finn smirked. 

"You think so, it's a bit large ." Ray looked down the sweater obviously large but he fit gratifyingly cute in it. 

"Don't let them get you down berry, you're still a star." The dominant voice came from left of them as they both looked to meet Quinn leaning primitively against the wall arms crossed, eyes shining. "Are you ok?" She focused solely on ray as if refusing to even meet finn's eyes. 

"It was really not that much of a surprise; the cheerios have been rather slow on the uptake so I might have been a little under prepared." Ray said as he looked at the odd tension between the taller figures. "Finn was my savior and was kind enough to lend me his sweater." Ray looked up with adoration in his eyes as Quinn leveled her feet. 

"She is gone, from the school." Her eyes were down and voice low with the seriousness of the situation.  
"What?" Finn crocked out finally. 

"They found some cocaine in Hermione locker, bad storage space as even the smallest suspicion of drug use, is if enough for coach to search the locker. " Quinn looked up to meet ray eyes they were full of something ray could not decipher concerned, anger, protectiveness. Ray felt as if he had maybe imagined all of the last 30 minutes. 

" That was not necessary Quinn." Ray met 'surprisingly' hazel tender eyes. 

"It was, Ray." Suddenly a gentle hand slowly reached out to carefully fix his hair. He took a gulp of air as Finn seemed to be forgotten the fire that burst through the small touch of her finger against his forehead 

"I need to get to Spanish." Finn voice burst the moment as he quickly turned around and practically ran from the two. 

"Would you like to come to the game tomorrow, I'll be cheering?" Quinn took a breath and fearlessly looked at the boy. 

"Like a date?" Berry eyes widen at the realization. 

"Like a extension of my apologies for this little incident." The steady hazel eyes did not allow the break of eye contact and followed his eyes till both were forced to meet. 

"Well, I do suppose that would do." Was all ray could manage as he registered his own words. He was going to a football game tomorrow and Quinn Fabray was the reason for it. He didn't even know the rules of the game very well, his life seemed to be welcoming him in, wishing him well on his journey. It seemed to him. 

"Be there seven sharp. " The twist of her sneaker against the tile created a sliding sound as her pony tail swung in the air the sharp scent of coconut and lavender hit him as he closed his eyes unable to resist melting into the smell when he manages to open his eyes Quinn had already gone and he was halfway sure it was all some sort of strange day dream. Yet the tingling sensation on his forehead felt more real than most of his own life. As he heard the last bell of the day as he headed home since there was no glee today. 

As he came home his parent's where sitting in the living room happily chatting away. The tv on for background noise as he hastily said hello and as if in a cloud went up to his room. With his back to his door he felt the pressure met his tummy. The familiar feeling of dread covered his body as sweat and tears came to him as he slowly and trembling took off his pants, than he took of his trembling hand and put it slightly down his red oak briefs. Tears fell as he touched the wet surface and his hand rose to discovered bloody fingers. Falling to his knees in pain and shamed he let out a sob as silently as quietly as possible. He looked up to meet the door of his bathroom in his bedroom. He wanted to not to exist, not to bleed, he wanted more now than ever for what was stolen from him. The idea of some normal life, today seemed but a cruel joke and the punchline had just hit him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am trying to be a turtle, take it sooooo slow.


	3. Staring at the sky ain't going to fix my problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am looking to be updating more this year. So be on the look out for that. It is one of my new years resolution to be more creative. Still no beta for this so all mistakes are my own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to comment and let know how you feel about all the strange dynamics because get ready for that ride.

His life felt out of his control entirely out of his control, as he laid there in his bed, wishing for some sort of sleep or peace to come. Yet here he was unsure if minutes or hours have passed by since his parents found him sobbing on the floor, it felt pathetic but he didn't have it in him to care. Yet here he was stuck in time, his body betraying him and his phone silent against him and for once in his life he just could not care less. He wanted the week to pass with a snap of an eyelid yet every time he shut and open his eyes, he was still her, his nightmare remained. The feeling of blood pulsing out him a constant real reminder that this was truly a tragedy just for him, he heard the door slide open and even felt the presence of his father large and comforting and when he opened his eyes the small smile that came upon his father face was a welcome retrieve, 

"Hi daddy," He manage to say in a whisper he felt weak and ashamed but he could not bear to face the outside world, having just proclaimed his masculinity to them. 

"Hey baby, some friends have come to see you," His voice sounded unsure ray figured is because before this ray had never mention any particular friends or even acquaintances. "Should I let them come in?" 

"Who could it be?" His eyebrows narrowed confused but he remembers barrowing Finn sweater and it wouldn’t be totally out of place for him to come retrieve it since ray has manage to skip the last day of school. So, he nods slowly and looks around his room where he spots it laying on his chair comfortably and it should be easy for Finn to get it and go. Than before he knows it the door opens and he looks up to see red pleats and white and red of the Cheerio uniform coming from perfect formed legs that make ray a little dizzy as his eyes grace their way up to a perfectly sculpted Quinn Fabray who looks worried her eyes a shade lighter than usual and she is looking at ray roaming his body with worry, her stance was one of power and determination, as her inner battle played in her eyes. Ray closes his eyes; more ashamed than he thought he could be, the heat in his cheeks burning him from the inside out. 

"Hi ray," It was a small whisper, she seemed scared another harsh tune might scare him off. 

 

"Hello, Quinn." His voice just came out as if on automatic as he still had his covers against his shoulder covering the length of his shoulder. 

 

"You didn't show for the game." She s said as she seemed focused only on him, he sighed, reaching to play with the cover, his face grew quickly grew flush from embarrassment he had totally forgotten about the game. To focused on himself. 

 

"I am so sorry Quinn." Came a sad voice as he looked into the layers of blankets, he sounded insecure and upset and he wished he was better at hiding it. Suddenly he heard steps walking away and he assumed she was leaving for the door. Than he heard the faucet running and moments later the steps back led to the bed dipping as she sat on the edge of the bed and when curiosity won the best of me I looked up. She was there with a wash cloth and a strange look in her face 'concern maybe' but also decisive as she slowly placed the moist wash cloth gently against his forehead. "Are you sick Ray?" Quinn looked over at him his hair short and messy and looking like a kicked puppy. Yet , her eyes stayed trained hard on him as he avoided her eyes once again. 

"Not exactly." He laid his body flat on the bed but still refused to let go of the covers and refrained from eye contact. "My ovaries have been busy trying to have the last word, ironically, it's period." I say with a bitter laugh. I don't look into her eyes but I see her stand and once again I am convinced she is going to leave and I concede, happy to stay with my shame. Yet she drops her jacket than it's on the floor and I look up and she let her hair falls. She goes around the other and of the bed and slowly one knee in front on the other she is shifting to lay next to ray. She not even under the covers and ray is having a heart attack. He not sure how he ended up here in bed with Quinn Fabray yet here he is. She puts her hands on his shoulders very slowly as if he were a feral cat about to run which he just might. His dysphoria is driving him up the wall, then she just does it ,she lays her hand against his pillow and partly on my shoulder. she close her eyes, I don't feel real I feel myself getting am dizzy from the intensity of the moment. My hormones are going left and right and I am going a little tipsy with so much feeling but she breaths against my neck in the soft erotic way and whispers. 

"Want to know a secret?" Her gentle breath reaches my ear and it makes shivers go through me. I think she knows what she doing. "You’re the first boy, I shared a bed with. " I look into her eyes a bit confused and a bit surprise even if she is the president of celibacy club, it would seem difficult to ignore all his hormones. Why must she be so pure and it makes her even more appealing and he just want to die because he might be falling for HBIC and that seemed like a terrible idea. 

" The point ray being that no matter what your body does or doesn't do your still a boy." I look into her eyes they look sincere and it makes smile. Then the knock interrupts the moment and Quinn quickly gets up; looking terrified of it being my father. The door budges and I see my dad, his small figure as he smiles widely to see me sitting up. "You feeling better berry bear?" He asked softly but lightly and I just nod. "You have another friend here." As he waves them in and then there is large and awkward Finn Hudson. 

"Finn?" My voice slips and I manage to look from Quinn who looks like a stone and vastly different than a moment ago. 

 

"Hey Ray, I stopped by for my sweater but wanted to check on you as well." He says with a dopey smile but than his eyes capture Quinn on the other side of the bed, he looks between the two the two confused as if trying to connect the dots. Than Quinn walking quickly and grabs his jacket and her own from the floor and pushes it against him. 

 

"We should go, he should rest." She looks over at Ray there is something deep in her hazel eyes and Ray can't place it he can't place his feelings right now. 

 

"Thank you, " I say and I look away to my covers, I gather enough bravery to look back up. "For coming." 

"Of course, Ray." Finn says with a small smile Quinn nods in echo firmly and smiles as well as she practically pushes Finn out the door. Leaving me alone with my own thoughts. 

As he pushes himself of the bed he feels stronger his body might still be trying to hold on to his past but he is still Ray Berry and he is determined not to let it happen. He stands up his musical pajamas saggy on him and goes to wash his face and then after he fills a bit fresher he does the one thing he knows will help. He grabs on of his many binders and puts on with much less effort. And once it is on and he can feel the warmth coming from inside out and he looks into the mirror he remembers he is meant to shine. 

__-__ 

Outside the door brown and hazel eyes square off. 

"What was that?" Finn narrows his eyes at the blonde as if he figuring her out. 

"What do you care?" She spits back and refuses to break eye contact. "Couldn't find another sweater? You that hard up for Berry you couldn't come up with a better excuse?" She is cold and he breaks eye contact at the truth of the statement. 

"We are friends now, Just friends." He says but still won't look her in the eye. "he is a boy now." He says a bit softer. 

"Right. He always was" She says dead serious and it's clear it's making Finn painfully uncomfortable as he turns quickly making his way down the stairs, after a pause Quinn looks one more time to Ray's door and follows. 

"Don't be strangers you two." The smaller one of the berry dads says as his partner nods and lays a protective hand over his Husband shoulders. It makes both teens pause and look at the relatively happy couple each wondering if that is what the future could hold for them someday. They nod at the males and say their goodbyes and both seem to almost run out of the house. 

___-_____ 

"Thank you for seeing us early doctor? " The doctor is a large Hispanic male with a soft voice as he smiles at Ray in particular. 

"Of course?" He said with a smile. "In situation like this is best to start as early as possible." He starts by washing hands thoroughly, and Ray is on pins and needles and he wants this so bad that this moment feels too long for comfort. 

 

"You ready Ray." He says as he takes a small cylinder tube in his hands and cleans the top than a moment later he takes a sterile needle out and the cap off it coming out, the shine startles ray as he nods with determination. 

"Yes, I am as ready as frank Sentara at the theater." He says and he looks up at his parents both who give encouraging smiles. 

 

Than the needle sat at the edge of his skin and pierced through like a blade it was quick it almost shocked him and then he felt the thick liquid entering his bloodstream and it was like coming out off deep water. Adrenaline pumping in his ears and his soul screaming in triumph he could cry but he tries to hold it together because he doesn’t want to not be present. He feels pulled together and the next day when he walks into school, no longer bleeding, with a spirit that he thought he had lost. As he makes his way to his first class he sees Quinn off in the distance she gives a smile a wink and for once Ray isn't as scared of whatever Quinn represent for him. Yet he feels a large hand on his shoulder against his shoulder strap. 

"You ready for class Ray." Finn says as both have Trigonometry together, which Finn mostly sleeps through. Ray nods and turns to walk away with Finn to his next class but he can swear he can feel Quinn's eyes against his back and the warmth of Finn soft grip on his shoulder as they walk away from the cheerleader. 

The next time their eyes meet is in glee. He setting up to perform and in they come the unholy trinity making it a point that they are here to grace us with their presence. Ray rolls his eyes but when he looks up again the small smirk from Quinn, catches him off guard as he continues to do his best to focus on setting up for his song. He had practiced at home reverently and with most of his time and it being a reminder, this might be one of the last times his voice is the same and the thought scared him. The unknow, he had to have faith that he was still meant to be a star that he could be himself and he could still achieve success and his dreams. So when he stand in front of the microphone and the first few beats on piano followed by the electric guitar melody and the music lightly settles on his body, gulps and feels his body align with the music. 

This is a call to the colorblind  
This is an IOU  
I'm stranded behind a horizon line  
Tied up in something true 

He looks around the room everyone looks so proud. He meets kirks eyes who smile fondly and when he looks next to him and sees Finn the next words come easy and he closes his eyes to bring his inner john Mayer to life. 

Yes, I'm grounded  
Got my wings clipped  
I'm surrounded (by)  
All this pavement  
Guess I'll circle  
While I'm waiting  
For my fuse to dry 

And when he opens his eyes they lock with Quinn's that glow with tenderness and pride as he hopes he isn't delusional and Quinn sees in him the value of this song. Because he feels it in every cell of his being. 

'Cause I'm bigger than my body now 

Maybe I'll tangle in the power lines  
And it might be over in a second's time  
But I'll gladly go down in a flame  
If the flame's what it takes to remember my name  
To remember my name, oh 

As he knowns the end is coming his body adjust to the music and he gets lost in it. Yet whenever he opens his eyes all he sees is smiles and proud eyes. Yet he can feel both their eyes on him as if magnetized to him and he smirks because he still has it. He can still perform as he feet tap out the rhythm. 

Someday I'll fly  
Someday I'll soar  
Someday I'll be  
So damn much more  
'Cause I'm bigger than my body  
Gives me credit for 

'Cause I'm bigger than my body  
I'm bigger than my body  
bigger than my body now 

As the song end and his body settles down he knows now that what he expected from this will no longer come true. Finn won't hate him and be disgusted for making out with a boy or worse tranny freak. Quinn won't humiliate him and toss endless slushies' at him, yet the present was still as complicated and slightly less scary than his past but much bright in his eyes. Because Finn doesn't hate him and even wants some sort of bromance or mentor friendship from what Ray can gather. Then there is Quinn, Quinn who had climbed on his bed and told him he was a boy regardless of his body. He was full of hope and optimist he knew the coming changes to his voice and his body would be deeply satisfying and he looked forward to sharing them know with all his friends.


	4. Getting tired of you running through my head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changes are happening for the glee kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to comment folks, sorry for the slow update process have no beta and the once over i give it is not nearly enough.

Quinn felt the bed dip below her as she was gently pushed into it, the wonder in her eyes coming in tunnel through the hazel pupils blown wide as the small but strong hand placed against her shirt made her tremble, the oak eyes of the brunette making sure they were connecting, but the breath hitch from Quinn was unmistakable, the nightie the other girl was wearing having the desired effect. Displaying every curve deliciously, making the blonde gulp down her fears. It happened so fast and somehow, she was here with long curls surrounding her and the brunette eyes shining above her a noticeable lack of clothes as their lips touched magically swiftly. The blonde eyes remained closed intoxicated and breathless, drowsily opening the same brown eyes above her but upon adjusting there the figure above her has short wavy hair, hard jawline with a five a clock stubble, and something thick warm and heavy lay against the inside of her thigh, Ray looked at her worriedly, as the look of shock covered Quinn's face, her heart beat pounding seemed to reached her ears and that’s she last heard, before her body was convulsing from taking a sharp gasp and her eyes shot open and adjusting to dark, looking around the room, the feel of her body disbelievingly flush and heated and arouse but otherwise than registering annoyance at her body frustrated confusing sexual state, she looked around her dark room, she felt the wet cold sheets underneath her, she sighed her brain going into overload knowing no more sleep would come tonight. 

********************** 

 

Quinn stood steady, squared off perfectly on top of the pyramid of cheerleaders, who did their best to quietly bare the weight of their leader, their sore pin pricked backs forming corners of the pyramid with strong determination in their eyes. As once again the angry voice of Sue Sylvester floated above the busy football field. The Football team doing drills and doing their best to impress the cheerleaders. Yet when her eyes found her target, the young male was busy holding the football dodging the other players easily, she noticed him looking back off to bleachers and when she looked to see what had caught his eye she saw Ray. Who seemed busy looking back at Finn with eyes of longing and also maybe a bit of hope. Quinn fist curled into a small ball she would have to make her move soon or meathead over there might get his act together and discover what Quinn and well the rest of the school could easily tell, that he is in love with Ray. 

"Fabray If you could direct you're menacing cold glare to the front." Sylvester voiced boomed from the bullhorn. Quinn manage to look away from the pair as she tried her best to focus on the instructions they were given and not on the race she was playing for Ray heart. Maybe Losing... 

***** 

"This week's assignment inspired by one of our own "Mr. Shuster voice was heard over the class as the sound of marker on whiteboard filled the room. "Gender swap songs, this week assignment is take any song that is usually not known to be covered by your own personal gender, feel free to play with it and give it your own style. 

"Mr. Shuster" Ray hand went up in the air like a puppy's proud tail. 

"Yes Ray," Mr. Shuster pointed his marker at the young boy. "I would also like to point out that all genders are welcomed in the spirit of the assignment, I feel like we must be as inclusive as possible. Gender such as nonbinary and or grey gender and any other gender is welcome." Ray finished saying proudly only to look to the side and see rest of his classmate's looks of utter confusion and the cheerios looking as weary as ever. 

"Ummm yes those too." Mr. Shuster nodded seemingly trying to look less clueless than the rest of them.Ray eye brows rose up never even thinking his class mates might need to be a bit more educated on gender and sexuality this was the perfect opportunity for him to open a few minds. Most of them probably never even having a second thought regarding their gender so it was easy to see how they could all think it was so black and white. Ray smile grew as he looked around at the potential for expanding minds maybe even expanding Finn's could see almost everyone's sexuality is fluid and maybe than he be a bit more open to the two of them in a romantic reference. 

"I am in." Quinn hand goes up in a flash, Ray look's over confused as the rest of them join in with song's and artist they could use. Ray smiled knowing this would be good for all of them including him especially due to his voice not having much of change he was not sure how he felt about it all. He had dreaded reading about the cracking in other males voices but he hoped his rigorous training would help pass that phase quickly. He had gotten lost in thought when he felt a steady heavy hand on his shoulders as he turned and stared into beautiful light brown eyes, the handsome smile, Finn steady and tall above him. 

"Hey Ray you in there?" A concerned Finn waived his hand to clear up his vision. 

"Yes, sorry." Ray shook his head and smiled "Lost in thought, great cover's don’t create themselves you know?" 

"I know, I am not sure either, I was hoping you could help me pick something out, I am not exactly sure which female artist I could sing and not just girly not that it be bad, but I think the whole point of the assignment is to own it as if it were ours.... right?" Finn's eyebrows scrunched up and a dopey confused look that Ray knew well and loved and he knew this was his chance. 

"Yea, of course." Ray smiled widely... and bit his lip in anticipation. "I have a favor to ask?" Ray took a deep breath and looked around the room and scooted as close to Finn ear who seemed frozen, his ears turning pink and the audible gulp was taken when ray whispered into his ear. "Could you, maybe... help me work out. Man's fitness is something that I am still trying to master and contrary to what everyone believes, I have no intention of ending up another slinky kirk." Ray said it as fast as possible and the audible breath of relief came from Finn as he nodded. 

"Yea, I can do that." He kept nodding and then with a look of surprise. "I have to go." he burst out and seemed to almost run out of the room with an uncomfortable look on his face, he almost seemed to wobble, over all Ray felt well about the conversation. Also a bit embarrassed since his normal regimen did not seem up to par any longer. Well Finn he might not be the smartest bulb in the toolshed but he was buffest and Ray needed that. Considering he was nowhere near comfortable going into the men's weight room alone. It could also very possibly lead to them spending more time actively around each other it made Ray stomach flutter and yet when he turned around his eyes locked into an intense golden eye’s that seemed to weigh heavy on Ray and Quinn's presence always so over powering. She seemed to be searching him for something Ray was curious about what it was but Britney had jumped into their line of vision. 'Quinn was a lot more complicated than he had ever thought. He not sure what to make of it. Yet he is curious but unsure if he could trust fleeting moments that keep repainting in his head. 

*** 

"Hey Quinn!" Ray called out after the cheerleader as he did his best to catch up to the trio. 

"What can I do for peach fuzz." Quinn abruptly stopped after hearing nervous shout from the smaller male who now was standing in front looking a bit tongue tied, If Quinn was honest she liked it a little bit and could think of other ways of stopping that sexy hyperbolae he was about to blurt out in any moment. 

"I just wanted to say thanks' for backing me up in class, I know it probably made the rest jumping in a bit easier and really say's a lot about team unity." He smiled wide and it was that same smile that melted Quinn's heart every time that classic Ray Berry sparkling with sunshine and hope smile. "I am also looking forward to your performance I could easily see you as a young David Bowie girl version.' 

"Stop the Kumbaya's berry, it's just assignment. " Quinn said cutting in and giving the smaller boy sneaker a kick to startle him out of the silence. " I like to think more of an Elton John." Quinn eyebrow shot up and that cocky smile of knowing that the she was not just purely flaunting but that it stood in truth and like many grand thing's about Quinn Fabray are said almost more of them spun of truth. The deep oak brown of his Iris enlarged as if the idea struck him and dazzled him in awe. Yet what followed surprised and left Quinn just as speechless. 

"That be a perfect fit," Ray stopped hearing break and feeling throat react in a gulp as the sound that radiated the air went sharp as if someone struck a chord down his throat. It was too late the laughter from Santana and Brittney who had been surprisingly quiet and uninterested where now holding their stomach as the vibrated with laughter and even Quinn, Ray could tell was fighting of the smile and then his saving grace came. 

"Ray let's hit the weight's!” Finn's loud voice echoed in hall's as Ray already running to him, skin flush red with embarrassment making it easy for Quinn to know that as much of a fan of she was of all of Ray's high notes it was not worth running the boy off. 

"Do you think if I hug him he will sqwee?" Brittny asked completely serious and seeming fond of the idea. 

"He just might. B" Santana said laughing as Quinn rolled her eyes and turned to make her way to practice. "If you two are late, I making you run laps." The two fellow girls followed in fits of giggles. 

___________ 

"Hey Ray, you ready to get sweaty with me?" Finn asked with a mile-wide smile that quickly depleted when Ray only nodded and seemed to have a strange worried look on his face. "Not with me, I mean next to me while we work out that is when both of us sweat." Finn rambled with no sight of getting his foot out of his mouth, only stopping when Ray turned to him and tilted his face to look confused at him. "You're right we should start heading that way." As the smaller of the two without a word turned and started down the hall. 

"Ray are you ok." Finn said as he opened the door for the smaller boy into an empty gym. "You aren't talking much which really odd for you. If this is about the sweaty comment I promise it was an accident. I didn't mean anything by it." 

"It's not you." The crack in his voiced made the smaller boy turn red as Finn eyes widen. 

"Oh." Finn mouth staying in the o for seconds longer before he shook it off. 

"Yea." Ray sighed and hung his head "I can't sing like this." He whispered almost to himself and looking back up he was met with a small smile. "Why are you smiling?" Ray looked upset at him stepping away in anger. 

"Wait Ray?" Finn took him by the shoulders, "It happens to everyone and also it doesn’t always happen. I am smiling because you are starting to sound different like you have a cold and yes if you over excited of course it will crack but all its means is that you’re voice it's starting to change and it will settle down even in a few weeks it won't be as bad. If I remember correctly it won't be nearly as bad as you think. As far as signing I know you might have to choose a song that can work for your limited vocal range but with a bit practice you will still make it sound amazing." Finn said lowering himself a bit so he was at eye level with Ray and making sure he locked his vision to his own, so he knew the message was understood through. 

"Thank you, Finn, " Ray smiled and look around at the empty gym. "Alright I bought my shorts and a shirt and extra breathable binder. Where should I change?" 

"The coach bathroom is through the back door. He is out to lunch and it's a single stall so one will bother you." Finn said having already thought out the safety of situation. "Also, the gym is ours for the next hour practice doesn’t start till four. He smiled as Ray smiled wide teeth white and cheeks rosy. 

"Thank You Finn, you are a good friend." Ray placed his palm on the taller male's bicep and before long turned and off he went walking away as Finn watched him walk away he smiled feeling the warmth inside of him spread at knowing he did something good for Ray. 

___________ 

The memories replayed in Quinn’s mind, Rachel, long hair, gorgeous Rachel everything she never wanted to admit had been haunting her, why?? Why dream about her, was her attraction for Ray even real, or was she just hoping that this was the least messy way to have her fantasy fulfilled. She needed to be sure of who she was, of what she wanted, she had to kiss a girl that was not the old version of Ray, she needed to kiss a girl outside of in her head. For so long her orientation revolved around just one person and that had been Rachel and the result was always explosive emotion’s weather with anger or with sadness, jealousy, yet Ray was not Rachel in fact Rachel would never be there again. She gulped as she watched the girls run lap’s practice was over but sue had charged her with watching the tardy girls run, which only consisted of Santana and Brittney and she was pretty sure they were only late because they got caught up, making out inside the locker rooms. She looked at them jogging at a steady pace, sweating heavily spandex tight and Quinn would be lying if she said didn't find them aesthetically easy to appreciate, yet she knew the easiest target would be Brittney , she ask less questions and probably forget after, if she remembered people would not give a second thought and ‘think of it more of Britney being Britney.’ and if she herself shrugged it off the rest would easily. The hard part would be getting her away from Santana she knew it was very dangerous territory but she had to know. Her world felt shaken to its core and she needed some sort of answer and as the two girls jogged by and she raised her arm and calling them in halfway through the needed amount time. 

“All right go in.” She said as both the girls gave a puzzled brief glance to each other, ultimately shrugging it off and starting to make their way to the girl's locker room. 

“Actually Britney, Ms. Shuster want’s the dodge balls from the boy’s room to throw them at anyone who make’s mistakes on the pyramid tomorrow, can you help me get them. “She could feel Santana's gaze burning into her back, not giving an inch she stood her ground. “I’ll help you.” she didn’t wait to start walking as she made her way to the guy’s locker room feeling relief when she heard Brittney footsteps following. 

The walk to the locker room was brisk and apart from Britney humming along behind her, as she passed the doors she looked for the farthest spot she could find. 

“I'll go look for them?” Britney said, not waiting for a response drifting off. As she was about to call out for her she heard it. “55,56,57,58”, as she walked quietly towards the narrowly open the door. She knew the voice but the hard breath that came after it, gust of breath with effort coming from the room sounded different. As she reached to gently widen the gap of the door she saw the tan muscle covered in sweat as it relaxes and contracted. “63.64.65,67” the counting continued, her eyes following each movement of Ray’s arms, it was enamoring to watch and her body flustered at the sight. Yet as she looked beside him there was Finn looking at him and Quinn knew that look. 

“Quinn, I don’t think they are here.” Britney made her way to her as Quinn quickly made a run for her, hand covering her mouth and placing the taller girl against the wall. Britney seemed confused but she made a shushing noise and seemed to help appease her. “78,79,80,82,” the counting continued and she sighed with relief and the moment her weight touched Britney the proximity seemed to catch up to her. As she slowly took her hand from Britney's mouth, making sure to make eye contact with the blue eyes. All in all, Britney seemed relatively calm as she matched the small smile given to her. 

“Britney,” the counting rhythm the only sound in the room, as their lips were close enough for their breaths to mix. “Can I kiss you the way Santana does?” she asked and waited on edge and when the smile from the other girl became a full one and a quickly nodded. She took it as her que and let her head dip and their lips to touch, gently gliding over one another, the feeling of softness was appealing to Quinn and the kiss itself ended naturally, 

“What the fuck, Fabray!” The sound of Santana cursing hit her ear hard, as she quickly jumped away from the other girl. 

“what’s going on here?” Finn’s voice sounded and when Quinn turned there were both boys staring at them. 

“I am going to kill you Fabray.” Santana's menacing voice pierced the air from the other side and Quinn felt frozen. 

“Finn, get Santana.” Ray said, but Santana had already smashed Quinn against the wall as Quinn reacted and pushed back turning the position around. Finn seemed slow and confused as he looked unsure of which girl to try and grab now. Quinn pinned the tan girl using all her force. 

“Nothing! Nothing happened!” she shouted in Santana's face as the other girl stopped pushing, looked up at the red face and vibrant hazel eyes. “It meant nothing.” Quinn kept eye contact to make sure the other girl understood. 

“It’s true.” Britney said from above looking alarmed. Quinn looked up to see all three wide pairs of eyes locked on her. As she slowly stood up making sure to be on guard in case Santana decided to attack again. That wasn’t the case and as she stood so did the other girl and she quickly turned around and without a word knowing curious eyes would follow she pushed the door beyond the threshold and kept walking. 

************** 

Finn looked at the glee club before him and with a casual blank tank top and jean he hugged the mic and weather he wanted to or not seemed to only have eyes during the performance. 

I walk through this world, just tryna be nice  
They say I'll get hurt, if I'm not like ice  
I know I've got friends, I still get so lonely  
If I look in your eyes, I'll want you to hold me 

I'm sorry that I care, care  
I'm sorry that I care, care  
It's really not that fair, fair  
I can't help but care 

It was obvious he was making a point, it seemed to Quinn that he was almost a step-in front her at just about every corner. As he swiftly continued to serenade ray with a Haley Kiyoko song’s, she rolled her eyes but knew when she looked at ray, he was eating up, eye's sparkling with hope, smile wide on his face. At some point Quinn was going to have to start running int his race. Fabray's don’t easily surrender, it would a cold day in hell when Ogre Finn would ever take a boy away from him. The singing continued as she kept observing the pair of boys. 

I over-communicate and feel too much  
I just complicate it when I say too much  
I laugh about it, dream about that casual touch  
Sex is fire, sick and tired of acting all tough 

******************** 

Quinn’s lips softly sided against freshly shaved skin and as the body above her seem to steady itself, she looked into those oak deep eyes and laid her hand against the flat chest and slowly caressed there as the boy above her kissed at her neck, she curled her hands into short tussles of his hair and accepted him inside her. The thrust inside her making her eyes blow open and once again to wake up to her room to wet sheets and alone. As she slowly calmed herself down and let her head hit her pillow once again, bring her arm above her and into view her hand. She felt the moister against her inner thighs. Looking at her hand quietly for a few more moment’s knowing that she was about to cross a threshold she had never crossed before, gently lifting her covers and gently gliding her hand under panties.


End file.
